My "True" Resume
I already have my Walter Mitty resume but this is different. This is me, tooting my own horn, without the pomp and frills that consumes the common resume.
I’ve found that I’m well suited for carrying heavy things over long distances. Be they physical or emotional in nature.
When dining with another person, I’m excellent at match their pace so our meals are finished at the same time, seemingly naturally.
I pride myself on making one trip. Groceries, laundry, doesn't matter.
I've purposely never dabbed nor used a fidget spinner. Somehow I feel those two go together.
I'm really good at holding my bladder.
I’m great at using my windshield wipers at an appropriate speed. Never too fast, never too infrequent. And I’m quite proud of the intentionality behind my high beam usage at night.
While I enjoy helping those around me, I stick to my New England resolve when it comes to my own needs.
I always put my shopping cart back in the corral and can often be seen putting others’ back as well.
I’m exceptional at keeping secrets. Sources not available upon request.
I can drink egg nog straight from the carton without the carton ever touching my lips.
I can almost completely fight back tears while watching It's a Wonderful Life or Up.
I try my very best not to correct people when I hear them say, Daylight Savings Time or Smokey the Bear. It's Daylight Saving Time and Smokey Bear.
I don’t listen to people that tell me I can’t do something.
I’m an expert at versatility. “Specialization is for insects.” -Robert A. Heinlein